Chief Furrent
Police Chief Copper Furrent is an extremely short, insecure, aggressively authoritarian Chihuahua police chief who dresses like a legitimate decorated police official while using authority to protect power ins…
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Rolf Enwoolface
Mayor Reverend Rolf Enwoolface is a charismatic wolfy mayor-reverend who wraps political ambition in holy-sounding fluff, ceremonial language, and self-important public performance.
Pawla Doberdog
Pawla Doberdog is the street-level heart of Jazzers’ News: a light-brown Doberman-style reporter who listens, asks questions, cares, and believes ordinary critters can make the world better together.
Barker
Barker Von Yapsamillion is a tiny, all-white, puffed-up commentator who hosts or appears from the hypothetical show The Daily Barker, sometimes dropping into Jazzers’ News as a yapping guest commentator.
Admiral McQuackmac
Admiral Quilliam Quay McQuackmac is a highly decorated mallard admiral who treats ponds, puddles, canals, and snack crumbs as matters of strategic waterfowl importance. He is canonically separate from Batquack…
Batquack
The Batquack is a masked duck superhero who appears when puddle justice, pond safety, breadcrumb order, or waterfowl dignity is threatened.
Sokitties
Sokitties is the cat-world philosopher-cat: a gray-and-white Aegean cat-inspired philosopher whose true prop is inquiry itself. He asks questions, points, thinks, and gently interrogates assumptions.
Oracle of Delfur
The Oracle of Delfur is both the title and the sacred place identity: a long-haired mongoose oracle who delivers cryptic prophecies about zoomies, sunbeams, bowls, shadows, and civic absurdity with total sacre…
Citizen Squirrel
Citizen Squirrel is an adult suburban Eastern fox squirrel–inspired public-comment regular who speaks only in squirrel, but is treated by Jazzers as a constitutionally important neighborhood voice.
Nutters
Nutters The Kid Squirrel is Citizen Squirrel’s child: a young Eastern fox squirrel–inspired kid activist who speaks only in squirrel, wears a backwards black baseball hat, and acts like the voice of the next g…
Cece Cupcake
Cece Cupcake Calico Cat is an orange-and-black calico cat with green eyes who treats cupcakes, frosting, sprinkles, and snack diplomacy as emotionally important news. She may appear as a reporter, guest, masco…
Fifi
Fifi is a grey tabby cat with green eyes whose presence makes any room feel like she has officially occupied it, claimed it, and possibly improved it by sitting there. She has a similar household-cat style and…